It is common to think of the same things when hearing the words "wedding" and "marriage", but it is important to keep in mind the differences.
A wedding is typically a social celebration of a couple who just got married. There is usually a "wedding party", which includes groomsmen and bridesmaids. A wedding is also an event where the newly wed couple will receive gifts and advice to help them ease into their marriage. Weddings are typically expensive and stressful, because of this, many couples postpone or even avoid getting married because of the burden of the financial side of things.
Marriage is the joining of two lives, into one. When thought of in this sense, the worry of financial responsibility for a wedding can be lessened. Especially within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the emphasis of marriage has to do with the temple sealing - not the wedding or reception itself. The promises and covenants made with your spouse and the Lord are priority, rather than the "after party". Instead of focusing on the social side of marriage (i.e. the wedding/reception), this shifts the focus from social, to sacred and spiritual.
It is interesting to me that so many couples will postpone their marriage, even as much as putting it off for years, purely because of the cost of the wedding. Family is the foundation and the most important part of this life, and marriage is how we are taught to start our own family. The adversary is strategic in shifting the focus from marriage and sacredness, to weddings and celebration, that comes with the financial stress and hesitation.
When stressed about the cost and resources that come up in planning a wedding, some things may need to be sacrificed or replaced. For example, instead of expecting gifts from those attending, maybe ask for participation from family and friends. Someone could help arrange flowers, make center pieces, bake desserts or cook food, etc. This could dramatically cut the costs of the wedding, allowing the marriage between you and your partner more easily accessible. Doing this is far more recommended than borrowing money from either side of the family, from bride or groom. While this may seem like a big help, this usually places obligation on the bride and groom to repay the party paying, even if not financially. It is seen over and over again, that those who paid for the wedding, begin to control and dictate the lives of those who were just married. For example, they would demand that this couple spent the holiday's at their home, not anywhere else. If this demand wasn't met, there would be a reminder of how much they did for them, how much they helped them, and they essentially, when it comes down to it, they owe them - even though that was never discussed when the help was offered.
It is important to enter into a marriage with the least stress possible. If there are already financial obligations, children, etc., this could take a huge toll on the new marriage. The new start of marriage can be very enjoyable, if done right. It is a time to deepen the love felt for one another, and get to know one another in an even more intimate, personal, and sacred way. Instead of worrying about the social event of a wedding, think about the rewards and promises made when entering into a marriage with your partner, which is meant to be forever. A wedding is a temporary, worldly event, while temple marriage is a sacred, eternal covenant made with your spouse and the Lord. When thought of this way, the cost of a wedding doesn't seem to be of utmost importance.
Comments