With changing expectations, gender roles, and opinions from society, it seems like a home can be whatever you make it. There are children growing up with cohabiting parents, single mothers, single fathers, divorced parents, and there are many more possibilities at hand. While some who grew up in these circumstances and homes may argue that they “turned out fine” or weren’t negatively affected by it, the fact is that they were, in some way or another. This doesn’t mean these children and families with homes such as these are doomed, but certain struggles do come with the circumstances.
I grew up with divorced parents with a single mother providing for me, my three siblings, and herself. It wasn’t easy, especially for my mom. One parent shouldn't be fulfilling the role of two. And one income isn’t going to somehow make up for the one that is lacking. Fatherhood comes with responsibility. While there are many, providing is one of them, specifically providing financially. When a father is not involved in the home, that expectation is placed on the mother. It is added on to her list of responsibilities and things to fulfill, creating more stress and reliance on her.
How does a mother provide financially and provide as a mother would? The real answer is you can’t. A mother can’t do it all, as effectively as a mother AND father would. Do I think I got the short end of the stick because my mother had to do it all? Not at all. I grew closer to my mom through her struggle and am 100% more grateful and aware of how much she does and has done for me. Do I wish she had someone helping her and sharing the responsibility with her while I was growing up? Absolutely.
Other than providing financially, a father has important roles in the home. An article titled “A Key Commonality In School Shooters The Left Refuses To Address”, it is mentioned that “Without dads as role models, boys’ testosterone is not well channeled”. A father is a role model, this goes both ways. If a father teaches and exemplifies to his son how to address his emotions, both positive and negative, appropriately, that son will most likely mirror that example. On the other hand, if a father doesn’t express his emotions in a healthy way, the son will learn from that behavior and likely act out in the same way. Warren Farrell continues, “when boys’ testosterone is not well-channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most destructive forces. When boys’ testosterone is well channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most constructive forces”, meaning a father’s role has an extreme effect on the child.
Some people may wonder, “How can a father provide financially and still fill the role of a dad?” To me, the answer is this: providing financially doesn’t make you a father. It is what a father does for his family. Being a father means knowing your kids, keeping promises, and being involved in your children’s lives. Working all the time and letting it overrule your life for your family, doesn’t make you a family man. Doing things for your family is different than doing things with your family, both are needed and important.
It has been studied and proven that children need a mother and a father. The gospel and The Family: A Proclamation to the World supports this. Family is the foundation of our lives, we may not realize, but our family shapes who we are and what we think. It is of high importance to be raising our children correctly in a functional home with a mother and father.
Comments